１.你總是可以在你要去的那棟建築門口或對街，剛好找到一個停車位。 ２.坐計程車付錢的時候，不必低頭看你的錢包，只要隨便從裡面掏出一張紙鈔給司機就好了，一定剛好就是該付的金額。 ３.電視新聞通常都會在你正在看的時候，剛好播出一條跟你密切相關的新聞。 ４.在所有的警方調查過程中，一定要至少拜訪一家脫衣酒吧。 ５.任何門鎖都可以在幾秒中內輕易地以信用卡或夾子打開─除非那是一棟火的建築，而且裡面還有個受困的孩子。
１.你總是可以在你要去的那棟建築門口或對街，剛好找到一個停車位 It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting. ２.坐計程車付錢的時候，不必低頭看你的錢包，只要隨便從裡面掏出一張紙鈔給司機就好了，一定剛好就是該付的金額 When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare ３.電視新聞通常都會在你正在看的時候，剛好播出一條跟你密切相關的新聞 Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired ４.在所有的警方調查過程中，一定要至少拜訪一家脫衣酒吧 During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once ５.任何門鎖都可以在幾秒中內輕易地以信用卡或夾子打開─除非那是一棟火的建築，而且裡面還有個受困的孩子 Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside ６.如果你忽然決定在街上起舞，所有迎面而來的路人，一定都可以配合你所有的舞步 If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps ７.所有的炸彈都附有電子計數器，以紅色數碼顯示倒數的時間，好讓你知道還有多久就會爆炸 All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode ８.如果你想假扮成德國軍官，不必特別去學德語，只要講出帶有德國腔的英語就可以了 而且當德國軍官們在一起的時候，他們也都偏好以英語互通 Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly When they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other. ９.只要搽上脣膏，永遠不會脫落，即使去潛水也一樣 Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving. 10.在巴黎的任何建築的任何一扇窗口，都可以看到艾菲爾鐵塔 The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris 11.即將退休的警官，往往會不幸地在他們任職的最後一天因公殉職，尤其如果他們的家人已經準備好了一場慶祝派對。 此外，警官也只有在被勒令停職之後，才會破獲重大案件 Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty) 12.要逃命的車子永遠不會一發就動，警車卻永遠可以，而且還會以漂亮的轉彎滑進犯罪現場 Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene). 13.住在鬧鬼屋內的女子，一定得穿著性感內衣尋查任何奇怪的聲音 If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear 14.警方在車內埋伏監視的時候，一定會在警員吃東西吃到一半的時候，忽然剛好需要開始行動，而且滾燙的咖啡，會剛好危險地放在儀表板上 On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed And scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard 15.從雜貨店買來的東西其中一定會包含法國麵包，而且要裝在開口的牛皮紙袋裡。而當紙袋破掉時，只有水果會掉出來 All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out). 16.汽車從來不需要加油 Cars never need fuel (unless they're involved in a pursuit). 17.如果你陷入一場敵眾我寡的打鬥，你的對手們會乖乖地在旁等著一個一個跟你對打 他們會在你身邊繞著圈子跳著，等到你解決前一個傢伙後再輪流上場 If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts Your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner Until you have defeated their predecessor 18.麥克風一打開，一定會馬上發出feedback的噪音 If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback 19.手槍就像刮鬍刀片一樣可以用完就丟。如果子彈用完了，把槍丟掉就好，反正一定可以再找到一把的 Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one 20.所有單身女性都有養貓 All single women have a cat 21.汽車只要被一顆子彈擊中，就會馬上爆炸 Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet 22.不論太空船損害得多麼嚴重，艙內的重力系統絕對不會失靈 No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged 23.如果你在城市裡被追殺，你通常都可以在剛好經過的節慶遊行隊伍中混跡躲避─在一年的任何日子裡都可以 If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year 24.任何建築的空調系統都是最佳的藏匿處，絕不會有人想到你會在那裡，而且你可以透過空調系統，前往建築內的任何地方而不被發現 The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected 25.你在任何戰爭裡都可生還，除非你剛好給同袍看了你家鄉女友的照片 You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home 26.妓女長得都像茱莉亞羅勃茲或潔美李寇蒂斯，穿昂貴服飾，住在不錯的公寓，而且沒有皮條客 她們與附近街坊店家的老闆都很友好，大家都不介意她們的職業 Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living 27.通常只要一根火柴，就足以照亮一個有足球場那麼大的房間 A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium 28.講電話時不需要說「喂」或「再見」 It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?" repeatedly 29.一個人朝著20個人開槍射擊，比20個人同時開槍的殺傷力更強。這也叫史特龍定律 One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (it's called Stallone's Law) 30.當你關燈上床，室內的所有東西依然可見，只是隱約帶著點藍光 When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish 31.長相平凡或甚至醜陋的女孩，只要把眼鏡拿掉，或是整理一下髮型，就可以變成電影明星 Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair 32.患有妄想症的壞人都不願浪費子彈，他們偏好用各種包含引線、滑輪、毒氣、雷射與鯊魚的複雜裝置來殺人 Rather than wasting bullets Megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases lasers and man-eating sharks 33.所有床上的棉被都有奇特的水平線，它們會一直拉到女人的腋下部位，但躺在身旁的男人卻只有腹部以下會被蓋住 All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her 34.只要有人在塔台引導你，任何人都可駕駛747客機降落 Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down 35.凡是傳出詭異音樂或邪惡頌歌的墓地，一定真的有鬼 Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated 36.需要電鋸的時候，一定隨手就可以找到一把 You can always find a chainsaw when you need one 37.不需要動手指，就可以演奏多數的樂器，尤其是吹管樂器與手風琴 Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers 38.在美國中部，所有加油站工作人員的褲子後面口袋都垂著一條紅色手巾 In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets 39.所有青少年的家庭派對裡，都會出現所有次文化的典型，連那些從來不會受邀派對的不受歡迎的傢伙也都會出席 All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties). 40.卡車都會隨便亂按喇叭
《變形金剛》的喜劇氣質是它帶給我最大的驚喜。其實回想麥可貝的兩部成名作不難發現，他最擅長的敘事節奏便是把驚人的爆破場面融合在幽默的人物互動裡。而《變形金剛》一連串精彩的對白，給了我近兩年來最歡樂的觀影經驗。
Youtube上面有很多很好玩的小孩影片。今天看到的是這個：Wii有這麼好玩喔？那我也想要一台耶……
垃圾丟多了會變成高手嗎
御宅族真是博大精深啊 XD
超酷的流行樂舞步進化史！
這次打蠻久的，而且連firefox和media player icon也加入戰場
木偶人系列作者的網站 囧rz
詹姆士是母的??
讓人敬佩的實驗精神，棒!
果然各個世界的新聞都差不多呢
厲害的操控技巧..
